5 Easy, Practical Tools to Get Your Clients Unstuck - International Coaching Federation
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5 Easy, Practical Tools to Get Your Clients Unstuck

Posted by Emma-Louise Elsey (Canada) | July 4, 2016 | Comments (21)

People who are stuck think there is nothing they can do or they simply don’t know what to do next.

Being “stuck” is just a belief: We may FEEL stuck—but it’s not at all the same thing!

We usually already know what we need to do to move forward (end that relationship, get a new job, speak to our boss about the training/pay-raise/promotion, exercise, find new friends, etc.), but we don’t want to deal with the consequences of doing it. It’s usually fear that keeps us stuck—a fear of becoming overwhelmed, upsetting someone or believing in ourselves; a fear of change/uncertainty; or a fear of planning and discipline.

Here Are 5 Ways to Overcome Those Fears and Help Your Clients Get Unstuck:

1. A Future Self  Visualization

You can make up your own, or use/adapt one you find online. Settle your clients down, take them to a place outside their normal everyday life to meet their future (or wise self). Then, ask your clients to ask their future self for advice, ideas, a gift, solutions, direction and/or next steps. Just search for “Future Self Visualization” on Google, and you’ll get plenty of ideas.

2. Explore and Play with their “Stuck” Metaphor

What does being “stuck” look like for your client?  What do they see, hear, feel and possibly even smell when they think about being stuck?

I had a client who imagined she was in a single square room with solid brick walls. She said it smelled damp, musty and a little hot and stifling. We explored further, and there was a window in one of them. She opened the window to let in fresh air and saw the future out of the window. Then, we explored that future.

In this instance, you could ask if there were there curtains on the window. What could they see out of the window? Could they imagine a door? What does the roof look like? Follow the client’s lead and ask “possibility” framed questions to get into the detail of their metaphor and look for opportunities to get unstuck.

3. Do Something, Do Anything

One easy way to get moving is just do SOMETHING, anything—no matter how small. There is ALWAYS something we can do, even if it’s just reflecting (some more) on the issue like over lunch or at a yoga class; making a list, a phone call or journaling; or taking 15 minutes to do web research or buy a book.

You can also use these 5 simple brainstorming questions to find something small or easy to do, “What could you START doing, STOP doing, do LESS of, do MORE of and KEEP doing?”

4. Brainstorm

Often people are stuck because they think they don’t have options. So, give them 30 to choose from!

The key word here is POSSIBLE. We want your clients to think possibility and not limit themselves to actions they will PROBABLY do. Ask questions around removing limits. What if time/money were not an issue? What if what people thought wasn’t an issue? What if you couldn’t fail? It can also be good to ask “expert” questions. What might a career/relationship/financial/time management expert suggest? What about their best friend? Their wise self? Their inner child? Someone they admire?

Remind your clients that just because they’re exploring options, it doesn’t mean they have to act on them.

5. Lean in to the Discomfort

One way to really get moving is to, in a controlled and focused way, really look at how they feel, to lean into their discomfort, difficulties and the problems and challenges their current situation gives them. Help them see what they’re truly feeling, what they’re missing out on and the consequences of staying where they are.

In life, it often takes a major incident or for people to hit rock bottom before they will make big changes to get unstuck. So, help your clients see what they’re missing out on: passion, joy, excitement, a life truly LIVED.

Wrapping Up

It can be helpful to think that there is no such thing as an unrealistic goal; there are only unrealistic deadlines.

Help your clients start small if they need to, but life isn’t going to slow down for them. While they wait for tomorrow to be clearer, better, to be ready, to not upset someone; life is passing them by. And when people allow life and circumstances to stop them doing what they want to do, they’ve given their power to someone or something else.

People aren’t stuck, they just think they are.

“Inspiration does not beget action. Action begets inspiration.” Chinese Proverb

Emma Louise Elsey

Emma-Louise Elsey (Canada)

Emma-Louise Elsey has been coaching for more than 10 years and is founder of The Coaching Tools Company and Life Coach on the Go. Originally a project and relationship manager for Fortune 500 companies, she discovered coaching in 2003 and hasn't looked back.

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Comments (21)

  1. Susan Sadler says:

    Thanks for this, some great ideas I will try with my clients!

  2. Judy Krings says:

    You covered more in a new paragraphs to help clients more forward than many do in books! I love the future self as being the wise self. How empowering. And getting into a tiny action often opens heavy wooden doors that had no key until creativity is harnessed. Well done. Thanks ever so much and I will pay this wonderful article forward with gratitude.

    • Dear Judy,

      Thank-you! What a wonderful comment 🙂 (It’s really hard for me to keep things short – there’s always so much more to add to be helpful – but sometimes short and sweet can inspire and do “enough”).

      I love your “tiny action” opening heavy wooden doors too. I often call this a “chink” – looking for that chink of light that hints at where to head in a dark room…

      Thank-you again for commenting – knowing you’re being helpful makes writing these blog posts a blessing!

      Warmly, Emma-Louise

      • Linda Secretan says:

        …and because Judy shared, I’m here to thank both of you for those powerful metaphors – from heavy doors and dark rooms to the light of possibility

        Your concluding proverb sounds a lot like “Acting as if…” reminding me of Shannon Polly and Kathryn Britton’s wonderful book “Character Strengths matter”

  3. This is insightful and well done. Thank you for new thoughts and reminders of some of the foundations that make coaching so powerful!

    • Dear Rebekah,

      Thank-you for your kind words! And absolutely. Coaching is extremely powerful and there are so many ways to coach – so many tools and resources at our disposal, this is my passion. The questions, tools, ideas! Thanks again, warmly, Emma-Louise

  4. Very fruitfu….. thanks

  5. Thank you. Great suggestions for helping clients get unstuck. Well written and insightful post.

  6. Great tools bravo Emma. I usually use brainstorming which combines a relaxed, informal approach to problem solving with lateral thinking.

  7. Lynda Monk says:

    Hi Emma, thanks so much for your great article here. I really appreciate how you always offer so many ideas in such a succinct way. I implement many of your tools and activities into my coaching programs. Thanks for being a source of both inspiration and information! With gratitude, Lynda

  8. Dear Lynda, Thank-YOU for your kind words and comments. I so appreciate your support and encouragement. Warmly, Emma-Louise

  9. Valeria Carena says:

    Great ideas. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Yes all these strategies worked with my clients soecially the metaphors but they require some coaching knowledge in NLP. Nevertheless they are easy to use, just as Emma pointed out.

    Many thanks for sharing
    Ghada
    marketing Chir for ICF-CT, USA.

  11. Linda Groves says:

    I’ve recently started coaching and just found this article.
    Excellent ideas for helping clients get unstuck.
    Thank you. Linda.

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